The Times Journal & Russell County News
Friday, Apr. 25, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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I.C. TOOWELL - In Apr. 17-23, 2008 issue
A letter on this page shows that Ole I. C. really got this one fellow in hot pursuit to tell us just how wrong we were and even how un-American we were because of our references last week to having the Ten Commandments hanging in our schools.

If supporting our Christian belief justifies this gentleman to call us un-American, then in his mind, he does not know just how un-American we really are.

If we had the authority, not only would we have prayer in school and Ten Commandments on the wall, we would likely have church service in the high school gym every Monday morning, we could see every child exposed to the Ten Commandments and we would even have an officer of the court handing out Bibles at the courthouse door.

If we did these things there very likely would not be as great a need for so many jails in this country. We very likely would not see so many young people killing their parents and so disrespectful of their teachers and leaders. Perhaps there would not be so many gangs among our abandoned youths. There might not even be so many so dependent upon our government.

This gentlemen speaks of our government money. This is taxpayers money and we do not believe our framers intended to establish a system and a society such as we are witnessing today.

We so appreciate the references to the wisdom of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. But, we would like to introduce the words of my Ole Grandpa as we stood one early morning in the hog lot while he said, “Son, if you expect the government to lead you out of a mess like this hog pen you had better wear you hip boots because for sure the stuff will get mighty deep.”

While we strongly disagree with this gentleman that we are un-American, we do agree that he is entitled to his opinion. Plus, we will be happy to add his name to our prayer list.

***
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?"

The mother answered: "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made."

Two days later she asks her father the same question. The father answered:

"Many years ago there were monkeys,and we developed from them."
The confused girl returns to her mother and says: "Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says we developed from monkeys?"

The mother answers: "Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side."

***
The young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage.

One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant. As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, "So . . . how do you like your rice? Boiled? Or fried?"

Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu at him and replied clearly, "Thrown."

***
Cooter, Dale and KC were working on a cell phone tower. As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Dale says, "Well, dang, someone should go and tell Cooter's wife." KC says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, KC comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Dale says, "Where did you get that beer, KC?"

"Cooter's wife gave it to me," KC replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"

"Well, not exactly," KC says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, you must be Cooter's widow."

She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow."

Then I said "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."

***
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then giving Fido only two of them.

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog to worship him and a cat to ignore him.

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

***
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 PM for 20 cents.
I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $3.50.

Then my wife's father died and left us ten million dollars."

***
NEWS OF A DIFFERENT TYPE...

Quite a talent!

Dakota Abbott, 16, edged Samantha Phillips, 17, to become Miss Outdoors 2008 in February in Maryland's Eastern Shore region's annual beauty-contest-and-muskrat-skinning festival. The young lady entered the beauty pageant and her talent was skinning a muskrat. She won the talent trophy by skinning a muskrat on stage. "I'll be honest," she said, "I can't sing. I can't dance, and I don't play any musical instruments." But she took her 4-inch blade, sticking it just above the tail, and sliced.

"You want to take your knuckles and separate the meat from the hide, just like this," she told the judges, with her hand inside the muskrat.

***
A 25-year-old woman was arrested for assault in Bremerton, Wash., in December after fighting with her boyfriend in the shower over whether the man's dog could join them. The woman objected and said the arrangement would be a deal-breaker for their relationship, to which the boyfriend replied that he hoped his next girlfriend would appreciate the dog more. At that, according to police, she punched him several times in the face, and in their struggle, he dislocated his shoulder.

Roy Chamberlin, 29, has been charged with 1,100 criminal counts in connection with what Pennsylvania police said was a series of nearly 200 rapes against a married woman in Potter Township. According to the police report, the woman said she was too terrified ever to report the crimes to police or to her husband so therefore the man continued to come by her house and rape her any and all times. Her husband came home unexpectedly one day and found them locked in the bedroom. The husband said she was screaming for help and later told of the continuous assaults against her.

See ya next week
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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
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404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
Managing Editor:
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PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
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