The Times Journal & Russell County News
Wednesday, Apr. 23, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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I.C. TOOWELL: In July 3-9 issue
For the past several years our vacation travel experiences have been quite overwhelming and we have learned to make the experience a part of the fun. We go each year with the expectations that something is going to occur and we just can’t wait to find out what it is going to be this year.

Last year we were stuck in Newark airport for two days and finally had to take an airplane to Louisville when our car was in Nashville, just to get that close to home and then rent a car to go get our car.

The year before we were stuck for hours because the flight attendant fell on her way to board the plane and they had to wait five hours to get another flight attendant.

Well this year we decided to do a new experience ce and wanted Chanson to experience traveling on a train. We drove to Cincinnati and caught the Amtrak. We had been told the scheduling of this service was very good and there were very few times of long waits or delays.  We arrived in Cincinnati and were told the train was on time. We all were surprised and just could not believe it. No problems this year. Hey!

Then the”Delayed” sign appeared. At first a two hour delay was announced. Then another hour delay. Then the explanation... the train has hit a tree in Virginia and it will be a five hour delay.

Now tell us this was not the family tradition we had been waiting for... how many times have you heard that a train hit a tree? It seems a tree had fallen across the tracks and the train hit it and had to be repaired.

This was not so bad as we had our car in the parking lot and was able to get around while we waited.

Then on the return... We telephoned the Amtrak office and they assured us, no delays this time. The train originates in Chicago and goes to New York so with the train originating there, they would be no delays at all.

We arrived at the station. “On Schedule” the sign stated. We all looked at each other and in our minds were thinking, could this possibly end the family traveling tradition. No sooner that the thoughts passed, the “Delayed” sign appeared.

Now with a sigh of relief Pauline asked what the delay was... they had misplaced the Diner Car and had to get another and restock it... just a two hour delay. But the tradition was in place and we were waiting again.

***
Have you ever wondered why all the advice columns are written by female writers. You never see a Dear Walter or Dear George it is always a female.
Well this following might explain why as we look at this one.

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help. 

The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV, as usual.   I hadn't gone more than a mile when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.  I walked home to get my husband's help.   When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes.   He was in our bed with the neighbor lady.  I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months.    I told him to stop or I would leave him.   He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.   I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.   He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?
Sincerely,  
Sheila  ---

Dear Sheila: 

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.   Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.  If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires.    If  none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps,
Walter

***

If you have ever driven or provided a company vehicle you will appreciate this one....
The Company Car...
1. It accelerates at a phenomenal rate.
2. It has a much shorter braking distance than the private car.
3. It can take speed humps at twice the speed of private cars.
4. The battery , radiator water, oil and tires never have to be checked.
5. The floor is cunningly designed to double as an ashtray.
6. It does not need to be kept under shelter at night.
7. It can be driven up to 60 miles with the oil warning light flashing.
8. It needs cleaning less often than private cars.
9. The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads of bricks, concrete slabs and other building material.
10. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning up the radio.
11. It needs no security system and may be left anywhere, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition.
12. It is the only type of car able to leave the road in game reserves and chase after animals in the bush for a closer look.
13. It is especially sand and waterproof for barbeques and fishing expeditions on remote beaches.

***
*Analogies and Metaphors*

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.

- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

- Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

- Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

- The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with power tools.

- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

- Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
- She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

- Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.

- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

See you next week!
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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
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404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
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PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
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