The Times Journal & Russell County News
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I.C. TOOWELL: In Aug. 21-27 issue
We attended the American Idol concert held in Lexington this past weekend.

 It would be very nice of me to say it was wonderful, but let’s not be too nice and just say it was a good evening of social entertainment complete with aching ears and back.

The top 10 American Idols from this past season were in concert and Ole IC along with 10,000 screaming idol fans were squeezed into the arena.  We must say we enjoyed some of the Idol shows on TV but  we must also say we have likely passed the stage of screaming and more screaming live concerts.

We thought we were very likely the only bored male in the arena and then we spotted Eric West with fingers in both ears and gazing at the UK scoreboard  with an obvious desire for the Cats to take the floor. We soon realized realized the loudest of the screams were coming from Pauline and Sherry West who had teamed up with their vocal response.

We kept watching Chanson to see what kind of response he and his friend would have to the concert and it appeared the loudest of his comments was to say. “Hold it down a little Mom.”

The newspaper editor was instructing the cub reporter in important details of his calling. "Never state as a fact anything you are not absolutely sure about," said the editor. "To avoid putting the paper in the position of stating something which it may not be able to prove, you should always use the words 'alleged,' 'claimed,' 'reputed,' 'rumored,' and so on, unless you know positively that everything is true as stated.

The cub was sent out to get society items, and soon thereafter the following paragraph appeared in the society column:

"It is rumored that a bridge party was given yesterday by a number of reputed ladies. Mrs. Smith, it is said, was hostess. The guests, it is alleged, with the exception of Mrs. Brown, who says that she comes from Illinois, were all local people. Mrs. Smith claims to be the wife of Alexander Smith, who is rumored to be doing a thriving business in town."

All about the small town!

Sound familiar???

Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this.
Those who didn't will be in disbelief and won't understand how true it is.
You can name everyone you graduated with.
You know what 4-H means.
You whispered a nasty word and your parents knew within the hour.
You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you new which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.
You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow.) Besides, where would you get the money?
When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.
You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off.
It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.
The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
You didn't give directions by street names but rather by reference. Turn by Nelson's house, go 2 blocks to Anderson 's, and it's four houses left of the track field.
The golf course had only 9 holes.
You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.
Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
The town next to you was considered 'trashy' or 'snooty,' but was actually just like your town.
You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1955 as the 'rich’ people.
The people in the 'big city' dressed funny, and then you picked up  the trend 2 years later.
Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the dairybar.
You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.
The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.
When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.
 Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names.
Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.
You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.
There was no McDonalds.
The closest mall was over an hour away.
You've pee'd in a cornfield.
Most people went by a nickname
You are  laughing at this because you know it is true.
Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day, well Tom Mathews shows us what happens........  

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
   Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
How could two people as beautiful as you,
Have such an ugly baby?
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ...
I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost lifelike!
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
We have been friends for a very long time ...
let's say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you,
it's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay
See you next week.
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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
David Davenport
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
Advertising Manager:
Stephanie Smith
Business Manager:
Kim Haydon
Production Manager:
Renee Daffron
Jamestown Office:
Kim Graham
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
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