The Times Journal & Russell County News
Wednesday, Apr. 16, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
Get online news updates FREE - Subscribe:  [?]
Google

Thoughts from the Lower 40: A Wild Hair
In May 16 Issue
Russell County News
By Wade Daffron, Columnist

(Oh boy, this is gonna’ be a good one!)

Irony.

It’s an interesting thing...

There I was at Mighty Dollar the other night (Wow! Surprise, surprise!), when I became fascinated by something in the health & beauty section.

They had like, a five-gallon drum of hair gel for, (you guessed it), only $1!

"Ohhhhh," I said, "I could use that!"

They had all kinds of pretty colors, too.

I selected pink (‘Cos I thought it smelled the best), and made my purchase.

Later than night, I wanted to use my new, lifetime supply of hair gel, but noticed my hair was, well, you know, just not, "happening."

I’d brush it this way, then that way, back, then forwards, and it seemed like there just wasn’t much there to work with.

Ah-ha! I needed a haircut. That would do it.

Even though it was late, I convinced my wife, Renee’, to give me a trim (Oh, stop it!).

But first, I had to dismantle the trimmer because it wouldn’t work.

It took 30 minutes, a pair of new batteries (don’t ask where they came from), a set of tweezers, and a piece of used duct tape to fix it.

Whew.

I sat patiently-feeling the trimmer glide along my scalp.

"Feels like you’re getting it pretty close," I said.

Buzz, buzz.

No answer.

"Well, are you?" I asked.

"Um...yeah...I guess," Renee’ said.

Buzz, buzz.

"How’s it going up there?" I asked.

Buzz, buzz.

"Hey," Renee’ said. "Haven’t you always wanted to shave your head?"

"Like, 10 years ago!" I said. "I think I grew out of that phase."

Buzz, buzz.

"Yeah, maybe you should just shave your head," she said.

"NO!" I shouted. "Why would I do that?"

Buzz, buzz.

"Well, maybe because you have to?" she squeaked.

I reached up...and felt skin.

More skin, then hair, then a little more skin, and some hair...here...and there.

"I think I better go look in the mirror," I said.

"I’m going to go check on the kids," my wife said-running down the hallway.

When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I was...perplexed.

Have you ever seen those cartoons when some kind of goofy animal is holding a bomb, or a stick of dynamite, and there’s an explosion, and the next thing you see is this goofy animal all charred, with little sprigs of hair sticking up?

BOOM!

That was me.

"Well?" I heard Renee’ say from the bedroom-approximately 50 feet away. "What do you think?"

"I...don’t...know," I said. "Hey, honey?"

"Yes?" she replied.

"Where’s my hair?" I inquired.

"On the floor, I guess?" she hypothesized.

Hmmm.

I mentally ran through all my options-which were...none.

There was one, and it was to just go ahead and shave my head.

"You know," I said to my wife," "I’m just going to let you finish it off."

Buzz, buzz.

I’m pretty sure a tear fell into my new, now-useless, hair gel.

The next day, I arrived at work, and the first person who saw me said, "Oh my goodness! Did you...Is your..." and they scampered away, shaking their head (Which, by the way, was covered with hair...unlike mine).

The next person I saw was more direct.

"It looks like you shaved your head."

"Yeah."

"So, you did shave your head?"

"No, actually my wife did."

"Was she mad at you?"

"No, no...well, I don’t think she was."

"I think she was."

Hmmm.

Throughout the day, people would either look at point, or just look, and I had devised a litany of responses to the question, "Where’s your hair?"

My answers varied from, "I don’t know, I thought YOU had it!," to "It fell behind the refrigerator," to "Well, I had it when I left the house this morning," or the oft-repeated, "What hair? I don’t HAVE any hair!"

Basically, I don’t know how to act without hair.

Should I dress differently?

How about wearing a cap all the time?

Do I need to shave off my facial hair?

Am I to shave my legs now, too?

This is new to me, and I am startled every time I walk past a mirror.

"Hey, you kinda look like ‘Stone Cold,’ " my wife said in attempt to cheer me up.

OK, that maybe would have been cool 10 or 12 years ago, and it maybe would be cool if I was a buff, muscular athlete, but I don’t look like Stone Cold. I look more like that crazy guy in Full Metal Jacket. (Me love you long time!)

"Do I really look OK without any hair?" I asked my wife. (I have learned that question is the male equivalent of a woman asking, "Do these pants make my butt look fat?")

"I like to rub your head now," my wife said. "Kinda like a buddha."

Hmmm.

"Besides," she said. "It will grow back...I think."

Content Management Powered by CuteNews
SUBSCRIBE to The Times Journal: CLICK HERE

SPONSORED LINKS


Publish Yourself PUBLISH YOURSELF
You can publish news about your group or organization directly to our site, using your computer.
CLICK HERE
Laker Band LAKER BAND
Visit the award-winning official web site for the Russell County Marching Band.
CLICK HERE
Lake Cumberland Web Cams LIVE WEB CAMS
Views of Lake Cumberland as it is right now, from a number of web cams.
CLICK HERE
Lake Cumberland LAKE CUMBERLAND
lakecumberland.com
Official site for Lake Cumberland with everything for the lake visitor and fisherman.
CLICK HERE
The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
-
P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
-
404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
(editor@tjrcn.com)
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
(sports@tjrcn.com)
Advertising Manager:
Stephanie Smith
(ads@tjrcn.com)
Business Manager:
Kim Haydon
(business@tjrcn.com)
Production Manager:
Renee Daffron
(people@tjrcn.com)
Jamestown Office:
Kim Graham
(rcnoffice@tjrcn.com)
PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
LOCAL & AREA
NEWS SITES
The links below open new windows. We are not responsible for the content of the sites.
Laker Country WJRS
(Russell Springs)
lakercountry.com/
WKYM-1017 (Monticello)
wkym.com/
Adair Progress (Columbia)
adairprogress.com/
Casey County News (Liberty)
caseynews.net/
Clinton County News (Albany)
clintonnews.net/
Cumberland County News (Burkesville)
burkesville.com/ccn/
Wayne County Outlook (Monticello)
wcoutlook.com/
Somerset
Commonwealth-Journal
somerset-kentucky.com/
Danville
Advocate-Messenger
amnews.com/
Lexington Herald-Leader
kentucky.com/
Louisville Courier-Journal
courier-journal.com/
WKYT-TV, Lexington
wkyt.com/
WBKO-TV, Bowling Green
wbko.com/
USEFUL SITES
The links below open new windows. We are not responsible for the content of the sites.

RUSSELL CO. OFFICIALS
RUSSELL COUNTY SCHOOLS
RUSSELL CO. LIBRARY

LAKE CUMBERLAND
STATE RESORT PARK
TV LISTINGS:
Choose your service and provider
SOMERSET MOVIE SHOWTIMES

.