An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.

"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

"The front row please," she answered.

"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."

"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.

"No," he said.

"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"No," she said.

"Good," he answered, "Let me show you the front pew."

***

Gun Control

  The Governor at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, asked the audience for total quiet.  

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

  Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together,

A child in America dies from gun violence.'

Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas draw pierced the quiet and said:  ''Well, stop clapping!'

***

A TEST FOR OLD KIDS

This is a test for 'old kids'!  The answers are printed below, but don't cheat.

1. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man?  Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.

2. When the Beatles first came to the  U.S.  In early 1964, we all watched them on The _______________ Show.

3 'Get your kicks, __________________.'

4. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ___________________.'

5. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________.'

6.< B> After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____________.'

7. Nestle's makes the very best . . . . _______________.'

8. Satchmo was  America 's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

9. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.

10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________ ________. '

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in t he front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ____________ & _______________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.'  This was a tribute to ___________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it.   It was called ___________________.

15.. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the __ ______________.

ANSWERS :

01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.

02. The Ed Sullivan Show

03. On Route 66

04. To protect the innocent.

05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight

06. The limbo

07. Chocolate

08. Louis Armstrong

09. The Timex watch

10. Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'

11.  Draft cards (Bras were also burned.  Not flags, as some have guessed)

12. Beetle or Bug

13. Buddy Holly

14. Sputnik

15. Hoola-hoop

***

 The ' Y ' Generation

The  Silent  Generation...people  born betwee 1925 and  1945.

The Baby Boomers.... people born between 1946 and 1964.

Generation X...people born between 1965 and  1982.

Generation Y... people born between 1983 and 1997.

Why do we call the last group of peopleGeneration ?  I had no idea until I saw this caricaturist's explanation! A picture is worth a  thousand words.

The Y Generation

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?

***

The picture below reminds me of several years ago when we were building a new house. We went to the house one morning to  check things out and there in one corner of the kitchen was the water heater. It was already hooked-up and it was a big round water heater in the corner, next to the back door. When we questioned the plumber, he stated he thought it would be better there as it would take a lot less water to run to the kitchen and bath room than it would if it was in the utility room.  The picture below shows a little problem with the commode and door. Must have been the same plumber, it was a lot easier to just notch out the door to go around the commode.