The Times Journal & Russell County News
Monday, Apr. 21, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In Aug. 13 Issue

If you’re the lady of the house, have had a busy day, just  got off work, still have to pick up the kids, go to the grocery, cook dinner, wash the clothes, clean the house, give the youngest a bath, help the others with homework, fold the laundry, iron everyone clothes for tomorrow, take the old man a coke, fix him a late night snack, get the kids to bed and then..and then.....

Well, don’t feel sorry for yourself, just think of poor little Michelle Obama that is giving of herself to be our First Lady.. She gave up a job at a big law firm, and is now dedicating herself to her family and working for us and the good of this great country. She does not get a salary but she does have a little assistance, just a little assistance.

According to an article in the Free Press here is a list of those on your payroll to help her through her busy day. After you read this we feel sure you will not resent working your behind off tomorrow to pay your taxes so your can help the First Lady.

Here is list of those hired to help her and what we are paying them.....

$172,2000 - Sher, Susan (CHIEF OF STAFF)

$140,000 - Frye, Jocelyn C. (DEPUTY ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND DIRECTOR OF POLICY AND PROJECTS FOR THE FIRST LADY)

$113,000 - Rogers, Desiree G. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND WHITE HOUSE SOCIAL SECRETARY)

$102,000 - Johnston, Camille Y. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS FOR THE FIRST LADY)

Winter, Melissa E. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND DEPUTY CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE FIRST LADY)

$90,000 - Medina, David S. (DEPUTY CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE FIRST LADY)

$84,000 - Lelyveld, Catherine M. (DIRECTOR AND PRESS SECRETARY TO THE FIRST LADY)

$75,000 - Starkey, Frances M. (DIRECTOR OF SCHEDULING AND ADVANCE FOR THE FIRST LADY)

$70,000 - Sanders, Trooper (DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF POLICY AND PROJECTS FOR THE FIRST LADY)

$65,000 - Burnough, Erinn J. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY SOCIAL SECRETARY)

Reinstein, Joseph B. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY SOCIAL SECRETARY)

$62,000 - Goodman, Jennifer R. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF SCHEDULING AND EVENTS COORDINATOR FOR THE FIRST LADY)

$60,000 - Fitts, Alan O. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF ADVANCE AND TRIP DIRECTOR FOR THE FIRST LADY)

Lewis, Dana M. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT AND PERSONAL AIDE TO THE FIRST LADY)

$52,500 - Mustaphi, Semonti M. (ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY PRESS SECRETARY TO THE FIRST LADY)

$50,000 - Jarvis, Kristen E. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT FOR SCHEDULING AND TRAVELING AIDE TO THE FIRST LADY)

$45,000 - Lechtenberg, Tyler A. (ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF CORRESPONDENCE FOR THE FIRST LADY)

Tubman, Samantha (DEPUTY ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR,SOCIAL OFFICE)

$40,000 - Boswell, Joseph J. (EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT TO THE CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE FIRST LADY)

$36,000 - Armbruster, Sally M. (STAFF ASSISTANT TO THE SOCIAL SECRETARY)

Bookey, Natalie (STAFF ASSISTANT)

Jackson, Deilia A. (DEPUTY ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF CORRESPONDENCE FOR THE FIRST LADY).

And you thought you had a hard time getting through your day.

If the above list is not factual, we apologize, if it is factual the Obamas should apologize.

***

 An older married woman got hauled into court for stealing a can of peaches. The judge asked, "Why?" She said, "I was hungry." Judge said,

 "Sorry, you committed a crime. I have to sentence you. How many peaches were in the can?" Woman said, "Six." Judge said, "I'm giving you a day in jail for every peach you took." Just before he banged his gavel down the woman's husband said, "May I speak?" Judge said, "Go ahead." The old guy said, "She stole a can of peas too."

***

The  Picnic

 A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

 The baked ham is really delicious,' the priest teased the rabbi. 'You really ought to try it.. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs.  Hall's  prized Virginia Baked Ham.

Tell me,  Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?'

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, “At your wedding.”

 The Usher

 An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher  greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps, “Where  would you like to sit?” he asked politely.

“The front row please,” she answered..

 “You really don't want to do that,” the usher said 'The pastor is really  boring.'

“Do you happen to  know who I am?” the woman inquired. “No.” he said.

“I'm the pastor's mother,” she replied indignantly.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“No.” she said. “Good,” he answered and walked away.

 Show  and Tell

  A kindergarten teacher gave her class a “show and tell” assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the class that represented their religion...

 The first student got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David..”

 The second student got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Mary I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary.”'  The third student got in up front of the class and said, “My name is Tommy.. I am Baptist, and this is a casserole.”

The   Best Way To Pray

  A priest, administer and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. “Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,” the priest said.

“No,” said the minister. “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.”

“You're both wrong,” the guru said. “The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor.”

The repairman could contain himself no longer... “Hey, fellas,” he interrupted..

“The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole.”

 

 

 

 

 The Twenty and the   One

 

 

 

 

 A well-worn

 

        one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill

  arrived at a

 

        Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the

  conveyor belt

 

        to be burned, they struck up a conversation. The twenty-dollar bill

 

        reminisced about its travels all over the country.

 

 

 

 

 'I've had

 

        a pretty good life,' the twenty proclaimed. 'Why I've been to Las

  Vegas

 

        and Atlantic City , the

 

        finest restaurants in New York , performances on Broadway, and even a

 

        cruise to the Caribbean '.

 

 

 

 

 'Wow!'

 

        said the one-dollar bill.

 

 

 

 

 'You've

 

        really had an exciting life!'

 

 

 

 

 'So tell me,'

 

        says the twenty, 'where have you

 

        been throughout your lifetime?'

 

 

 

 

 The one dollar bill replies,

 

        'Oh, I've been to

 

        the Methodist Church , the Baptist Church , the Lutheran Church

 

        '.

 

 

 The twenty-dollar

 

        bill interrupts, 'What's a church?'

 

 

 

 

 

 Goat for Dinner

 

 

 

 

 The young couple

 

        invited their elderly priest for Sunday dinner. While they were in

  the kitchen

 

        preparing the meal, the priest  asked their son what they were

 

        having for dinner.

 

 

 

 'Goat,' the

 

        little boy replied.

 

 

 'Goat?'

 

        replied the startled man of the cloth, 'Are you sure about

 

        that?'

 

 

 

 

 'Yep,' said the

 

        youngster. 'I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any

  to have

 

        the old goat for dinner.'

 

 

 Lord, keep Your

 

        arm around my shoulder, and

 

        Your hand over my

 

        mouth!

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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
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Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
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