Do you have one of those weeks where everything and everybody really annoys you and it builds and builds until you feel like you're going to explode?

Grocery shopping is not a pleasure for me. I grab my list, get in and out as quickly as I can. I head down an isle only to see a group of people holding their annual family reunion. I politely clear my throat but no one hears because they're too busy catching up on who's sleeping with who. Somewhat louder, but still courteous, I say, “Pardon me.” The mumble apologies and scrunch over just enough to let me by, not realizing that they're gathered in front of the exact shelf I need something form. So, I meander around the store, window shopping, for however long it takes the family reunion to disband. This really gets my blood boiling. The grocery store is not the place to socialize. Say hello, make a date for coffee and move on.

Another thing that really bothers me is creepy, crawly, slow, snail like drivers going 25 or 30 in a 55 mile speed zone. I don't know why they aren't ticketed like speeding drivers, because they are certainly more dangerous. They seem oblivious to the fact that they have enough cars behind them to make up a funeral procession and we're all trying to get around them at once. One would think they'd pull over and let people by, but 9 times out of 10, they don't. Also, they have to apply their brakes at every little curve and if you happen to blink at that moment, you've rear-ended them and caused a 25 car pile up.

This is also one of the reasons I hate the 127 Yard Sale so much. Besides slow drivers, you have people  walking right out in front of you, making it a week of accidents waiting to happen. The prices on all this stuff (mostly junk) is ridiculous and astronomical.

As a connoisseur of yard sales I know what prices should be. What I would normally pay 50¢ for, goes  for $10 or $20 on the 127 Yard Sale. During this week while others are out purchasing their “great bargains”, I choose to hibernate.

Mandatory seat belt laws really tick me off. Children should always wear seat belts or be placed in car seats because as parents we are responsible for their care and safety. But, as an adult I am hurting no one, but maybe myself if I choose to wear a seat belt or not. When I came up on a huge road block the other day I considered putting my belt on, because financially strapped I couldn't afford a fine. The rebellious teenager in me prevailed and I just pulled the belt over and tucked it under my behind until I was through the road block.

I'm tired of all my personal liberties being taken away from me. Last week my best friend and I went to E-town several times to visit his father at the hospital. While there we would occasionally step out to smoke where we were greeted by the loudspeaker booming, “Smoking is prohibited, this is a smoke free facility.” They might as well added, “Smokers will be shot on sight.”

We would slip down to the edge of the property, hide behind a tree, like we were criminals and smoke. We were then told by a security guard that we must go down the hill to the sidewalk beside the multi-lane highway to smoke. There were more people on the sidewalk than in the hospital, including a patient in a morphine drip. I wish they would go ahead and make it illegal and out us smokers in ca commune and we'll call it 'The Secret Smokers Society'.

Then theres someone I'll call Billy Bob (don't worry he can't read). He and his new wife get food stamps, disability, medical cards, etc. and they're both physically fit, but neither work. Of course the government cut their checks (just a little) when they got married so Billy Bob is going to check into getting his child support payments completely cut. Billy Bob has a supposed bad leg and he goes to the emergency room several times and week for shots and pain pills. His riding lawn mower messed up so he made it into a  “Derby Machine” (Its a mystery to me how he can't mow yards for a living but he can pop wheelies on that Derby machine and play tackle football on that bad leg.). He was worried about how he was going to afford a new mower. His brother offered to buy him a push mower but Billy Bob said, “...my wife and I ain't going to push no mower.”

What really set me off was when he showed me his new $30 pair of sunglasses. I had to actually sit on my hands to keep from choking him. I'm grateful for our push mower, our moss covered roof and my tomato soup, but this sort of thing drives me nuts. Hey, thats OK, maybe I can get myself a crazy check!

The person that upset me the most this week was my very own son. On Tuesday he went to Lexington to spend the night with a college friend. He didn't even take a change of clothes and said he would be back on Wednesday. I sent my cell phone with him so he could keep in touch. Wednesday came and went without a word from him. I tried my cell phone and it was either dead or turned off. I worried, but not too much.

Thursday came and still no word. I attempted to go to bed that night but instead of visions of sugar plums dancing in my head I saw jails, muggings, and morgues. That's what we mothers do. So I sat in my chair all night, shaking and panicked. Friday afternoon he walks in without a care in the world, talking about what a great time he had.

After I gave thanks to God that he was safe, I started to wonder how I could kill him and get away with it.

“But Mom, I'm 23 and free,” he said.

Not a good thing to say. You live in my house, I feed you, I own the air you breathe, I don't care if you're 23 or 103 you don't worry loved ones unnecessarily.

I'm going to take something positive from this last week. Next week has to be better because there is no where to go but up.

Till next time, Forward Ho!