In Aug. 20 Issue
We visited the new Manners Restaurant this past week and had lunch with Ricky and Nona. If you have not visited there yet, you need to go and see the Old Tanners Restaurant and enjoy just how they have returned it back to life as Manners Restaurant.
You really step back a few days in time when you take a seat in one of the booths or hoist yourself up to the Coke bar. You might take a step back in time with the decor but a real tasty step forward when you take time to enjoy the great menu.
They also shared a great new tasty treat with us last week. We will not tell you exactly what it was, but when you go by and have your meal this week, tell them you want one those tasty dessert treats that Ole IC and the goats share. In fact, the treat we had last week, was taken from the goats food supply. It was absolutely delicious.
In fact, go by Manners and we will pay for the treat for the first ten people that mention that Ole IC told them to stop by and have an Ole IC Goat Treat. You will be surprised.
Now this week Tom Mathews sent Ole IC several new stories and we appreciate it so much. Any of you that have a funny to share, email us at email@example.com.
Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked.
A man told the officer he was rushing to the hospital because had been stung by a bee, and was allergic. "There's the bee right there," he said, pointing to his dashboard. The officer looked. The bee was not only dead, but in a advanced state of decomposition.
A man was doing 70 mph on the shoulder of I-95, avoiding the bumper-to-bumper traffic. After a third of a mile, he was stopped by an officer. He jumped out of the car, brushing off his pants, and told the cop he had dropped a cigarette on his lap. "I was looking for a place to park," he explained.
A speeder said that he and his wife were trying to have a baby. "My wife is ovulating," he told the officer. "I have to get home right now."
An officer stopped a man doing 80 mph. When he asked the driver whether he had seen the speed-limit signs, the man responded, "I went by them so fast I probably missed them."
A man going south on I-95 was stopped near Washington Avenue doing 79 mph. "My engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the carburetor," he told the officer. For good measure, he added, "If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all."
"I'm due in traffic court," one speeder said. "If I'm late they're going to enforce the bench warrant."
When an officer told a speeder that the speed limit on the Schuylkill Expressway was 50 mph, the driver responded, "Officer, where have you been? It's 65 now."
One speeder said simply, "I'm trying to beat my wife home. Don't ask."
An elderly person was stopped after doing 73 mph. When told he was getting a ticket, he asked the officer, "Is there a senior citizen's discount?"
A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied, "She called Four Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean.
NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"
THE TINY CABIN
A social worker from a big City in Massachusetts recently transferred to the Mountains of North Carolina and Georgia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.
Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.. "Anybody home?" she asked.
"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.
"Is your father there?" asked the social worker.
"Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.
"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker.
"Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.
"But," protested the social worker, "are you never together as a family?"
"Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door. "This is the outhouse!"
Enjoy these quotes.....
'One man with courage makes a majority.'- Andrew Jackson
'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.'- Franklin D. Roosevelt
'The buck stops here.'- Harry S. Truman
'Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.'
- John F. Kennedy
'It depends what your definition of 'Sex' is?''- Bill Clinton
'That Obama - I would like to cut his xxxx off.'- Jesse Jackson
'Those rumors are false .... I believe in the sanctity of marriage.' John Edwards
'I invented the Internet'- Al Gore
'The next Person that tells me I'm not religious, I'm going to shove my rosary beads up their xxx.'- Joe Biden
' America is--is no longer, uh, what it--it, uh, could be, uh, what it was once was....uh, and I say to myself, 'uh, I don't want that future, uh, uh for my children.'- Barack Obama
'I have campaigned in all 57 states.- Barack Obama (Quoted 2008)
'You don't need God anymore, you have us Democrats.'- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2006)
'Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful, true, and honest than he.'- Hillary Clinton (Quoted 1998)
And the best one........''Life's tough ........ it's even tougher if you're stupid.'' -- John Wayne