The Times Journal & Russell County News
Friday, Apr. 18, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In Oct. 29 Issue

We have seen several dermatologist over the years to find something to help our psoriasis problem and the flaky specks it leaves on our sweaters and shirts. Many treatments, little success.

After years of battling the problem, we visited a dermatologist in Louisville last month and he gave us a very small sample tube to give a try.

Well the stuff worked like a miracle drug. Cleared up the old head in a matter of two or three days.

Wonderful. But the small sample only lasted a short time, so we called and his office phoned our pharmacist and  sent in a prescription.

We were so excited to get another tube of this miracle drug, but we were a bit disappointed the tube was not larger.....only 60 grams the package stated and not really a lot larger than the sample.

Disappointment in size soon turned to excitement to just have in hand, which soon turned to, “oh, my gosh,” which was the beginning of the shortness of breath, the loud gasping sounds and the near heart attack as we fumbled for our billfold to see if we could somehow find the $419.75  appearing on the price tag.

 We checked the label to see just how much gold was in the mixture as we know it has to be at least 50-50. So if you’re looking for a new investment you might want to grab a few shares of stock, or like gold, you might want to just buy a case or so and keep locked up with your gold and silver.

***

Speaking of gold you might want to place your name on a list to get a new pair of Oakley sunglasses. They are new on the market and will be a limited edition with only a few hundred  being made. Let’s see if we can describe them to you. Looks like they have two plastic ear pieces that go from the lens and rests on the ears.  Both lens are round and fit on each side of the nose. Sounds like regular sun glasses you say, well yes, looks like those on the rack at K-Mart,  except the price, $4,000.

We were going to get us a pair but we can’t do this and keep our hair pretty at the same time.

***

We love this one. Tom Mathews sent it to us and we enjoyed it. Dr. Vic Henry enjoys a unique sense of humor and this one fits into his style.

When the announcement was made the government was going to initiate daylight saving time, this wise old Indian responded this way.

Only the government would cut a foot off the top of a blanket, the sew the piece to the bottom of the blanket and expect to have a longer blanket!

***

Cowboy Boots

Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help & she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the 2nd boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

No sooner they got the boots off and he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

Her trial starts next month .

***

Oh, here is another one for Dr. Henry.

"Flu Update "

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?

For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.

***

"Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!"

He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!"

"Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?"

***

A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down.

"No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power.

Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that this is a train and not a plane."

***

Praying for Leroy

"Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher says.     

Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you."  

Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for  Leroy.    

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks,"Leroy, how is your hearing   now?"     

Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't til next  Wednesday!"

***

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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
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404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
(editor@tjrcn.com)
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
(sports@tjrcn.com)
Advertising Manager:
Stephanie Smith
(ads@tjrcn.com)
Business Manager:
Kim Haydon
(business@tjrcn.com)
Production Manager:
Renee Daffron
(people@tjrcn.com)
Jamestown Office:
Kim Graham
(rcnoffice@tjrcn.com)
PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
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