In Nov. 7 IssueRussell County NewsBy Wade Daffron, Columnist
Believe it or not, I'm a pretty sensible guy.
I try to approach most things with logic and sensibility.
Like, you know, when you're laying in bed in the middle of the night and hear screaming, banging, loud thumps, and cackling.
OK, so where were the sounds coming from?
Let me back up a little...
On Halloween night, my oldest son, Myles, had been out “ghost hunting.”
The only thing he “found” was...plenty of other people out “ghost hunting.”
I cautioned him once again about such endeavors.
There's just some things you don't want to mess with-especially the supernatural.
Anyway, the night after Halloween, I laid down with the three youngest kids, Drake, Kate, and Izzy, and read to them from our latest, favorite book, “The First Step Bible.”
I learned Drake knew a whole lot more about the Bible than I did, but I was able to teach Kate a few things, like, “ 'Asp' is not a bad word.”
After a little Bible study, the kids...and daddy...fell asleep.
If you know me at all, you know sleep is a rare thing for me.
And man, was I sleeping good!
But my slumber was short-lived.
I was awakened by screaming.
Faint, yet very distinctive.
The screaming was followed by loud “thumps.”
Then...cackling. Hideous cackling in short bursts.
Followed by some sort of distant “banging”-again, not from the bed I was in.
I wanted to raise up to find the source of the noises, but I was quite honestly paralyzed with fear.
I squeezed my eyes shut and willed myself to sleep.
A little while later...bang....thump...scream...cackle.
I glanced over at the kids to be sure they were OK.
They were fine.
I quickly pulled the covers up over my head.
“Just go to sleep,” I kept telling myself, “no one else is hearing this, so it must be your imagination.”
Or was it?
Maybe Myles accidentally brought home something sinister from his ghost hunting trip.
Somehow, I managed to fall back asleep.
Bang! Thump! Scream! Cackle!
I could tell the noises seemed to be coming from the hallway.
When I peeked over the edge of the covers, I saw a bright flash of light in the hallway.
I felt nauseous.
With one eye open I saw a few more flashes of light.
I felt I had to do something to protect my children.
I began saying prayers-just above a whisper-which lulled me back to sleep.
BANG! THUMP! SCREAM! CACKLE!
This time I jumped straight up out of bed, and ran to the doorway.
I saw more, bright flashes of light coming from youngest son's room.
My heart was pounding.
I could NOT allow this “thing” to remain in my home a moment longer.
I lunged toward my fear and confronted it.
There it was...
I was face to face with “something” in the dark.It was “absorbent,” and “yellow,” and “porous.”
It was....Spongebob Squarepants.
Apparently, someone had left a Spongebob video on “repeat” mode.
After changing my pants, I sat in Drake's bedroom floor-amongst the scattered books, half-eaten food, and dirty clothes-and watched Spongebob until I identified the source of each and ever noise I had been hearing.
The “bangs” and “thumps” were cartoon noises amplified through a junk store subwoofer hooked to the TV.
The “screams” and “cackles” were the typical noises Spongebob makes.
I laughed at Spongebob, I laughed at myself. When I finally crawled back in bed with the kids, Drake woke up and looked around..
“Did you turn my Spongebob movie off?” he asked.
“Gosh, Drake,” I said. “I didn't even realize it was on.”