In Nov. 21 Issue
Russell County News
By Wade Daffron, Columnist

The following, believe it or not, is an actual news item from USA Today:

ATLANTA (AP) — Kellogg says there will be a nationwide shortage of its popular Eggo frozen waffles until next summer because of interruptions in production at two of the four plants that make them.

I heard this on the radio earlier this week, then went on-line to verify it.
My first impression was, “OH MY GAWD! What am I going to do?! I LOVE waffles! I MUST start stockpiling waffles!”
I even went to the nearest store to get all the waffles they had.
(BTW-no Eggos at this store. Someone must have heard the bad news before I did and beat me to them.)
And boy, oh boy, was I disappointed in myself because I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
I bought into the hype just like the mass media wanted me to.
The press is bad for building up hysteria.
You see it a lot over gas prices.
If a news story (or even a rumor) comes out about rising gas prices, it seems like every body rushes out to buy gas.
It is their panicked behavior which causes an increased demand for gas-thus the higher prices. Perhaps even higher than the prices would have been.
So now, it's...........waffles?
Seriously-think about this for a minute.
There's more than just one brand of waffles.
Yeah, yeah, I know, Kellogg has engrained the “ 'Leggo my Eggo' “ phrase into our brains, but you can get just as tasty (and often cheaper) waffles in various store brands, or from other companies.
I am happy as a pig in slop (bad image, sorry), when Kroger puts their waffles on sale for 99 cents, (That's a hint, Mr. or Mrs. Person in Charge of Pricing at Kroger) and I'd put their chocolate chip or cinnamon selections up against anybody's.
Waffles are part of our culture.
There's just something so “American” about them.
We love to eat them, they're quick, convenient (and you know how we're all about having things “now”), and “fun” to eat.
Ever played with the waffles and syrup?
Of course you have.
You can fill all the little “holes” in your waffles with syrup, just fill some of the holes with syrup, fill all but one of the wholes with syrup (tricky) and even I've even seen people play “tic, tac, toe” with waffles. (Yeah, that's creative...or disturbing...can't really decide.)
Ever stood in line at a Waffle House?
Of course you have.
Eating at a Waffle House is a “rite of passage.”
My son Evan and I have had some of our best “bonding” times at Waffle House.
I remember sitting at a Waffle House in London at 4 a.m. one morning when Evan expressed an epiphany.
“Dad,” he said, “I think I've pretty much got women figured out.”
I remember looking up at him between bites of my pecan waffle (Yum! This is hurting me more than it's hurting you), and saying “Well, good luck with that.”
In college, the Waffle House on Scottsville Road, in Bowling Green, was one of the few places I could seek solitude while studying.
So, I believe an “intellectual/philosophical” argument can be made for waffles.
I heard someone say they “got saved” at a Waffle House-which asserts the basis for a religious/spiritual need for waffles.
Musicians (of all calibers) love them, too.
Seems like you always see at least one, autographed photo in a Waffle House.
Aside from everything else...I, myself, just plain like waffles.
I do find it hard to believe there will be a “waffle shortage.”
I mean, people can make waffles at home, right?
If you ever listen to the “Bob & Tom” on the radio, they even have a “Waffle Day” where they make waffles live, on the air, for themselves, and their guests.
Which made me think...
Wouldn't there be more of a problem if there was a shortage of waffle batter?
I think we're OK as long as we have batter.
But...
Just to see how out-of-hands things are really getting, I checked that bastion of social barometers, ebay, to see if any clever people were trying to take advantage of the alleged “waffle shortage.”
And guess what?
As of this writing, there was a listing for one box of “rationed” (?) Kellogg Eggo Blueberry Waffles, and another auction for “EGGO WAFFLES!” only....(wait for it)...$400.
Oh, and the box is NOT included.
I'm not going to panic yet, and neither should you.
Oddly enough, if anything, this will want to make more people eat waffles because they will become more “unique” and “special” than they already are.
Me?I'm going to break out my Powerpuff Girls Waffle Iron, and prepare for the future.
“BATTER UP!”