The Times Journal & Russell County News
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From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In Dec. 31 Issue

2010...seems like an impossible number for the year we are living in. What in the devil did we just impossible number for the year we are living in?

We lived most of our youth with our grandparents. Great, wonderful, honest and hardworking people. My grandfather did not have a formal education, yet, he could do absolutely anything. He was my hero and we had the hardest time to realize he was born in the 1800’s. While it actually was 1898, it was still in the 18’s and then we were half way through the 1900’s. Never gave it much concern about reaching the 2000 figure, that seemed unrealistic. Now we are looking at 2000 plus another 10.

Just wonder how we will handle breaking in the 3000 mark.


2010 New Year's Resolutions

How many of you have placed new resolutions  for yourself. We always do and we always manage to keep them....sure.

The following resolutions are reported to be the top ten. See if any are on your list!

Spend more time with family and friends

Get into shape

Loose weight

Quit smoking

Quit drinking

Enjoy life more

Get out of debt

Learn something new

Get organized

Help others

Here are our resolutions for the new year and just to show you how serious we are, we are not even going to put them off until the new year, we are starting today!

1. Start exercising

2. Stop twittering in public

3. Get organized, try and find last year’s planner and billfold

4. Keep desk clean, remove old sandwiches

5. Learn to twitter better

6.Find out what a blog is?

7.Take a 30 minute power nap every morning

8.Take a 30 minute power nap eveny afternoon

9.Loose at least 20 pounds

10. Learn to likeObama and all the new taxes heading our way.


Falling Apart

There's quite an art to falling apart ....

as these years go by.

And life Doesn't begin at 40 ....

That's a Big Fat Lie!

My hair's gettin' thinner ....

my Body is Not.

The few Teeth I have ....

are beginning to Rot!

I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub ....

Not Chanel #5.

My new Pacemaker's all ....

that keepin' me alive!

When asked of my past ....

Every Detail I'll know.

But what was I doin' ....

just 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the Idea ....

what More can I say?

I'm off to read the Obits ....

like I do every Day.

If my name is not there ....

I'll once again Start -

Perfecting the Art ....

Of Falling Apart!

But til' That Last Curtain ....

Decides to Fall,

I'm gonna' have ....

Myself a Ball!

Thoughts to Ponder For The New Year

Do not eat natural foods. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

If quitters never win and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days, no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather; it pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Play on Words

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes in verse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

9. When she got married, she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A flat miner.

11. When your clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

Have a great New year and we look forward to the great year of 2010----Let’s hope So!

can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into a song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours ...and it 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory.. which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear will suffer the agony of defeat.

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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
David Davenport
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
Advertising Manager:
Stephanie Smith
Business Manager:
Kim Haydon
Production Manager:
Renee Daffron
Jamestown Office:
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FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
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