The Times Journal & Russell County News
Friday, Jul. 25, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In April 15 Issue

We saw a bumper sticker this week that really made us stop and think. It appears that so many people feel this way anymore and so many people have such little respect for our government.

The bumper sticker

  We Love Our Country

We Fear Our Government

A nd then there was this one....

Obama Healthcare Makes Me Sick

***

Had a great story we wanted to tell  you about someone, but I forgot who and what it was.

***

We have a new cat at our house. He is a Manx breed, you know a big M on his forehead and no tail. They are a little on the odd looking side as their back legs are longer than their front legs and no tail at all. We have two other Manx cats and they fit right in with our odd family.

We got this one at the shelter in Frankfort. Chanson found him on the internet and since he came from the capital, Chanson named him “Governor.” His favorite past time is resting on the arm of the chair and watching the screen of my laptop while I am working.

If there are a few cat hairs on your paper this week, he is here now watching me talk about him.

***

If Men Got Pregnant...


Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay.


There'd be a cure for stretch marks.


Natural childbirth would become obsolete.


Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem.


All methods of birth control would be improved 100 percent effectiveness.


Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.


Men would be EAGER to talk about commitment.


They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute.


Fathers would demand that their SONS be home from dates by 10:00pm.


Men could use THEIR briefcases as diaper bags.


They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."


Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.


They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.


Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.

***

The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex.

The personnel office sent this reply...

"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."

***

Top 35 Oxymorons


Government Worker

Legally drunk

Exact estimate

Act naturally

Found missing

Resident alien

Genuine imitation

Airline Food

Good grief

Government organization

Sanitary landfill

Alone together

Small crowd

Business ethics

Soft rock

Butt Head

Military Intelligence

Sweet sorrow

Rural Metro (ambulance service)

"Now, then ..."

Passive aggression

Clearly misunderstood

Peace force

Extinct Life

Plastic glasses

Terribly pleased

Computer security

Political science

Tight slacks

Definite maybe

Pretty ugly

Rap music

Working vacation

Religious tolerance

Microsoft Works

***

Not for sure about the following but we will pass along anyway.


Top 10 Reasons Eve Was Created


God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

***

THINGS TO PONDER OVER

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

 If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

 Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Doesn't “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
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404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
(editor@tjrcn.com)
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
(sports@tjrcn.com)
Advertising Manager:
Stephanie Smith
(ads@tjrcn.com)
Business Manager:
Kim Haydon
(business@tjrcn.com)
Production Manager:
Renee Daffron
(people@tjrcn.com)
Jamestown Office:
Kim Graham
(rcnoffice@tjrcn.com)
PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
LOCAL & AREA
NEWS SITES
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WKYM-1017 (Monticello)
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Adair Progress (Columbia)
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Casey County News (Liberty)
caseynews.net/
Clinton County News (Albany)
clintonnews.net/
Cumberland County News (Burkesville)
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Wayne County Outlook (Monticello)
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Somerset
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Danville
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Lexington Herald-Leader
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