The Times Journal & Russell County News
Friday, Apr. 18, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
Get online news updates FREE - Subscribe:  [?]
Google

From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In July 8 Issue

It was a really exciting day for some motorists in Italy this past week. Imagine driving down the highway when all at once piles and piles of brand new coins were piled everywhere, over two million dollars worth.

A truck traveling from the mint to the banks had overturned and spilled some 2.5 million dollars in coins all over the highway.

Some motorists were so happy, reported the police, they made away with several thousands dollars before the police had the scene under control.

***

BUTTE, MONTANA

Shotgun preteen vs. Illegal alien Home Invaders...

Two illegal aliens, probably believed they would easily overpower home-alone 11-year-old Patricia Harrington after her father had left their two-story home.

It seems  the two crooks never learned two things: they were in Montana and Patricia had been a clay-shooting champion since she was nine.

Patricia was in her upstairs room when the two men broke through the front door of the house. She quickly ran to her father's room and grabbed his 12-gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun.

The first to get up to the second floor was also the first to catch a near point blank blast of buckshot from the 11-year-old's knee-crouch aim. He suffered fatal wounds to his abdomen and genitals.

  His partner ran to the foot of the stairs, he took a blast to the left shoulder and staggered out into the street where he died.

It was found out later that one of the men was armed with a stolen 45-caliber handgun he took from another home invasion robbery. That victim was not so lucky. He died from stab wounds to the chest.

An 11 year old girl, properly trained, defended her home, and herself......against two murderous, illegal immigrants.......and she wins,

She is still alive.

Now THAT is Gun Control!

***

Here’s a loop-hole in the health insurance that will surely be used more and more.

A man went on a ski trip and was knocked unconscious by the chair lift. He called his insurance company from the hospital, but it refused to cover his injury.

"Why is the injury not covered"? he asked.

"You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot and we consider that a pre-existing condition."

***

A new term limitation for politicians is being considered. In fact, there are quite a few already adhering to this rule.

Limit all  U.S.  politicians to two terms...

One in office....and

One in prison.

They say, Detroit and Chicago already do this!

***

Pat sends these for us to enjoy this week.

Classic Definitions and Cool Meanings


Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.


Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day international are more popular than a five day test.


Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water-power .


Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.


Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.


Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.


Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.


Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."


Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.


Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.


Computer Engineer: Someone who gets paid for reading these type of mails.

***

This sounds so much like something we would do.


While on a car trip, the old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. Pearl left her glasses on the table, but didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around.

Old Bud fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant.

When they finally arrived, as Pearl got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, Bud said, "While you're in there, you may as well get my hat, too."

***

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning until night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began harassing him again. Complain, nag, nag. It just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. It killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd when a woman mourner would approach the old farmer. He would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement, but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So, after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

Content Management Powered by CuteNews
SUBSCRIBE to The Times Journal: CLICK HERE

SPONSORED LINKS


Publish Yourself PUBLISH YOURSELF
You can publish news about your group or organization directly to our site, using your computer.
CLICK HERE
Laker Band LAKER BAND
Visit the award-winning official web site for the Russell County Marching Band.
CLICK HERE
Lake Cumberland Web Cams LIVE WEB CAMS
Views of Lake Cumberland as it is right now, from a number of web cams.
CLICK HERE
Lake Cumberland LAKE CUMBERLAND
lakecumberland.com
Official site for Lake Cumberland with everything for the lake visitor and fisherman.
CLICK HERE
The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
-
P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
-
404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
(editor@tjrcn.com)
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
(sports@tjrcn.com)
Advertising Manager:
Stephanie Smith
(ads@tjrcn.com)
Business Manager:
Kim Haydon
(business@tjrcn.com)
Production Manager:
Renee Daffron
(people@tjrcn.com)
Jamestown Office:
Kim Graham
(rcnoffice@tjrcn.com)
PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
LOCAL & AREA
NEWS SITES
The links below open new windows. We are not responsible for the content of the sites.
Laker Country WJRS
(Russell Springs)
lakercountry.com/
WKYM-1017 (Monticello)
wkym.com/
Adair Progress (Columbia)
adairprogress.com/
Casey County News (Liberty)
caseynews.net/
Clinton County News (Albany)
clintonnews.net/
Cumberland County News (Burkesville)
burkesville.com/ccn/
Wayne County Outlook (Monticello)
wcoutlook.com/
Somerset
Commonwealth-Journal
somerset-kentucky.com/
Danville
Advocate-Messenger
amnews.com/
Lexington Herald-Leader
kentucky.com/
Louisville Courier-Journal
courier-journal.com/
WKYT-TV, Lexington
wkyt.com/
WBKO-TV, Bowling Green
wbko.com/
USEFUL SITES
The links below open new windows. We are not responsible for the content of the sites.

RUSSELL CO. OFFICIALS
RUSSELL COUNTY SCHOOLS
RUSSELL CO. LIBRARY

LAKE CUMBERLAND
STATE RESORT PARK
TV LISTINGS:
Choose your service and provider
SOMERSET MOVIE SHOWTIMES

.