In July 10 IssueRussell County NewsBy Wade Daffron, ColumnistRandomness.
That's about all I got for you.
I hate to be a complainer, but I think the intense heat as of late has melted what little brain I have.
Sometimes, I feel as if my cerebellum (I had to look up the spelling) is melting like candle wax.
Slowly.
Hot.
Dripping.
Wow, that reminds me of an ad I saw in back of a magazine one time.
Anyway, I've never done real well with heat.
At one point, I considered dropping out of college because I had to walk from my dorm-at one end of WKU-to my classes, at the exact, opposite end of campus, up a steep hill.
I would arrive in class drenched in sweat, and literally drip for the entire hour.
And that was in the winter.
Suffice to say, I've been miserable lately.
My wife, Renee', who is not a healthcare professional, said I was "working on a migraine."
I don't know how you "work" on a migraine. Are there special tools?
It started with me seeing what looked like "Aztec Indian" patterns, then I couldn't turn my head, then I got sick at my stomach, then I felt like everything was forming into a "wedge."
Wait…maybe that was a college-era experiment.
Shoot, I can't keep track.
It's the heat, you know.
I'M TIRED
Please tell me someone else has noticed this…
As I travel across the state for my job (which, once again, I LOVE), I have seen tens, hundreds, thousands, of pieces/strips of tires on, and along, the road.
Sometimes I'll see a stretch of road littered with black rubbery, debris.
It almost looks like one of those old, Matthew Brady Civil War battlefield photos.
So, I'm thinking, it must have something to do with the heat, right?
I was wondering if they are maybe parts of "recapped" tires that have come apart due to the high temperatures and sizzling asphalt.
Sounds plausible (Had to look that one up, too).
And what was it my dad used to say?
"Always" buy recaps, or "never" buy recaps?
Does the car I'm driving have recapped tires?
EVERYONE'S A CRITIC
My younger children are at that cute, "interactive" stage when you can really have fun with them.
Well, I mean Drake is, but the girls, phooey, I don't understand them at all.
(Could explain the four marriages, you think?)
The other day I was getting dressed, and Drake came bouncing along.
"You need help, Daddy?" he asked.
"Sure!" I said. "Why don't you help Daddy pick out some shoes.'
"What will it be today, black shoes, or brown shoes?" Drake said, as if he was a short-order cook having to wait on the counter lunch rush crowd.
He held up two pairs of shoes, and I said, "Black, please."
Nothing.
No movement, then his feet shifted slightly.
"Black, or brown," he said, holding the brown shoes toward me.
"Black will be fine," I said.
Drake bit his lip, and cocked his head.
"Did you say 'brown,' Daddy?"
Oh…I get it.
"Sure, brown sounds good," I said, patting him on the head.
He then bolted from the room, and met his sister, Kate in the hallway.
"Shew," I heard him say, "I've been working hard. I had to help Daddy get dressed."
Kate ran in, and I could tell she was about to scream and cry, because that's just how she enters a room, but she didn't have anything to scream or cry about.
"I want to help, too!" she said.
"OK, then," I said. "How do I look?"
"You need black shoes, Daddy." she said.
?
KNOW YOUR
SURROUNDINGS
As one gets older, it really is the simple things that matter.
Simple things such as, oh, let's say having a King-Size Reese's Nutrageous candy bar which had been secured, nurtured (kept out of the heat-see, I'm going "full-circle" here), and hidden away for a "special occasion."
Let's also say that "special occasion" arrives.
Even though the kids are at the other end of the house, with televisions, radios, and video games blaring, they heard me oh-so-carefully break the seal on my precious candy bar.
They came 'a runnin'.
Wide-eyed Drake, lip-smacking Kate, and diaperless Izzy.
The king-size bar was then evenly-distributed into four pieces-smaller than "bite size' or the wrongly-named "fun size" bars.
Following, was the measuring/comparing of the pieces to see who was "cheated," and in the confusion, I could only find three pieces.
Where was mine?
UGH!
And to top it all, Izzy…stank.
Once her brother and sister caught a whiff of her, they took off running, and she followed (as she always does.).
Alone again, I frantically searched for my meager portion of the once-majestic candy bar.
I assumed it dropped on the floor, and I wanted to get it before in melted (See how I'm tying all this together?)
HA! Found it.
Just as I was bringing it to my lips, Drake ran up to me, and said, "Here's you piece of candy bar. Izzy had two pieces"
It was at that horrifying moment, I realized…