The Times Journal & Russell County News
Wednesday, Apr. 16, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In July 15 Issue

We found the US Debt Clock on the internet this past week and it is astonishing. If it was connected to a fan, we certainly would not have to worry about global warming.

That thing is spinning so fast, we cannot catch  it with our mouse to make a copy.

At this very moment our national debt is set at $13,187,940,987,651. Since we have typed that on this page it has already risen over 2 million dollars. No, we do not type slow.

 If you would like to look at it in another light, each person in the United States, children and all, at this point owe $42,579. Each taxpayer owes $119,243.  And the bank thinks I owe them a lot!

Just to keep you abreast of the situation, we will tell you next week just how much your debt has increased.

 These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read:


 1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.


 2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.


 3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.


 4. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.


 5. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

***

Wade Daffron tells me that one day while he was working at the library this fellow came in and said... "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it."

Wade smiled and said, “So here is the person who took our phone book!"

***

Pat contributed these new words for us this week.


ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.


AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.


AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.


BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.


BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.


CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.


DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"


DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will 'remove' all the germs.


ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.


EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

***

We are not to sure about this story. but it is a good one anyway.

Tagging Birds

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated:


Wash. Biol. Surv.


Until the agency received the following letter from a camper:

"Dear Sirs:

While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible."

The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.

***

Necessary Information for the 40-and-older crowd


- If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.


- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.


- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian; any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.


- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.


- Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


- For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.


- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.


- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.


- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.


- Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.


- Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.


- There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.


- Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.


- Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.


- It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.


See you next week.

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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
-
404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
(editor@tjrcn.com)
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
(sports@tjrcn.com)
Advertising Manager:
Stephanie Smith
(ads@tjrcn.com)
Business Manager:
Kim Haydon
(business@tjrcn.com)
Production Manager:
Renee Daffron
(people@tjrcn.com)
Jamestown Office:
Kim Graham
(rcnoffice@tjrcn.com)
PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
LOCAL & AREA
NEWS SITES
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Laker Country WJRS
(Russell Springs)
lakercountry.com/
WKYM-1017 (Monticello)
wkym.com/
Adair Progress (Columbia)
adairprogress.com/
Casey County News (Liberty)
caseynews.net/
Clinton County News (Albany)
clintonnews.net/
Cumberland County News (Burkesville)
burkesville.com/ccn/
Wayne County Outlook (Monticello)
wcoutlook.com/
Somerset
Commonwealth-Journal
somerset-kentucky.com/
Danville
Advocate-Messenger
amnews.com/
Lexington Herald-Leader
kentucky.com/
Louisville Courier-Journal
courier-journal.com/
WKYT-TV, Lexington
wkyt.com/
WBKO-TV, Bowling Green
wbko.com/
USEFUL SITES
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RUSSELL CO. OFFICIALS
RUSSELL COUNTY SCHOOLS
RUSSELL CO. LIBRARY

LAKE CUMBERLAND
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