The Times Journal & Russell County News
Tuesday, Jul. 22, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In Sept. 16 Issue

Ole IC has been a collector of many items for many years. Take a look at the basement and you would immediately say definitely too many years. Anyway, one of the items we have collected is our music library. We have hundreds of old, old records, 8-track tapes, and cassetts, etc. Our CD collection was limited just to those CD’s we had purchased to enjoy.

Since we also take care of the LakeCumberland.Com website and the Trading Post on it we noticed an advertisement that someone wanted to give-away 400 CD’s.

Now they were talking my language and even though we had reservations that the CDs were all broken or scratched up, so we called.

Suprised, the CDs were their private collection and they were giving them away because they moved here to a smaller house and did not have room. George and Doris said they had all the CDs transferred elecronically so they did not need them now.

Needless to say our CD collected took a major leap this week. We’ll be busy for a few days. as we filter thru the room full of boxes.

***

Pat and Tom Mathews can come up with some of the greatest things. Check ths one out.

What an awesome and orderly God we have!

           For example:

-the eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days;

 -those of the canary in 14 days;

 -those of the barnyard hen in 21 days;

-The eggs of ducks and geese hatch in 28 days;

-those of the mallard in 35 days;

-The eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days.

 (Notice, they are all divisible by seven, the number of days in a week!)

 God's wisdom is seen in the making of an elephant. The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction. No other quadruped is so made. God planned that this animal would have a huge body, too large to live on two legs. For this reason He gave it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily.

 The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first. A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first. How wise the Lord is in all His works of creation!

God's wisdom is revealed in His arrangement of sections and segments, as well as in the number of grains.

-Each watermelon has an even number of stripes on the rind.

 -Each orange has an even number of segments.

-Each ear of corn has an even number of rows.

-Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains.

-Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of bananas, and each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even number and the next row an odd number.

-The waves of the sea roll in on shore twenty-six to the minute in all kinds of weather.

 All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks, and the Lord

Specified thirty fold, sixty fold, and a hundredfold - all even numbers.

 God has caused the flowers to blossom at certain specified times during the day, so that Linnaeus, the great botanist, once said that if he had a conservatory containing the right kind of soil, moisture and temperature, he could tell the time of day or night by the flowers that were open and those that were closed!

Thus the Lord in His wonderful grace can arrange the life that is entrusted to His care in such a way that it will carry out His purposes and plans, and will be fragrant with His presence.

***

Changing Times

A big mouth college student challenged a senior citizen saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his world. "You grew up in a different world," the student said.

"Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers, the internet..."

Taking advantage of a pause in the student's litany, the senior said,

"You're right sonny . We didn't have those things when we were young... so we invented them!"

***

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.

Linda is blonde, a Democrat and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.

The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and it was determined to be Bush's fault.

***

What Will Be Next?


I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog.

A neighbor, an old Florida fellow, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, "What the heck's that for?"

I explained, "It's a sundial. See, the sun will hit that small triangular spike and cast a shadow on the face of the sundial. Then, as the sun moves across the sky, the shadow also moves across the calibrated dial, enabling a person to determine the correct time."

My neighbor shook his head and muttered, "Huh, what will they think of next?!"

***

Father's Opinion...


4 years: My daddy can do anything.


7 years: My dad knows a lot, a whole lot.


8 years: My father doesn't know quite everything.


12 years: Oh, well, naturally Father doesn't know that, either.


14 years: Father? Hopelessly old-fashioned.


21 years: Oh, that man is out-of-date. What did you expect?


25 years: He knows a little bit about it, but not much.


30 years: Maybe we ought to find out what Dad thinks.


35 years: A little patience. Let's get Dad's assessment before we do anything.


50 years: I wonder what Dad would have thought about that. He was pretty smart.


60 years: My Dad knew absolutely everything!


65 years: I'd give anything if Dad were here so I could talk this over with him. I really miss that man.

***

On Trial

After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'innocent' to 'guilty' of the charges."

The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.

Finley looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."

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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
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404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
(editor@tjrcn.com)
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
(sports@tjrcn.com)
Advertising Manager:
Stephanie Smith
(ads@tjrcn.com)
Business Manager:
Kim Haydon
(business@tjrcn.com)
Production Manager:
Renee Daffron
(people@tjrcn.com)
Jamestown Office:
Kim Graham
(rcnoffice@tjrcn.com)
PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
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