In Sept. 23 Issue
Fall is here......so they say. The weather is still very warm and the tempts next week will remain in or near the 90’s. No problem with us because we know what is just around the corner. Cold, cold and more cold. An old college buddy called this past week and said he had finally done it. He was moving from Long Island, NY and had purchased a place in Florida. Like ole IC he had noted the direct relation between age and weather and it was no secret that weather in NY this past year was enough to make anyone notice. We are taking notes here also.
We made a miscue last week about the name of a new acquaintance and a new resident of our community and we reprint it this week.
Ole IC has been a collector of many items for many years. Take a look at the basement and you would immediately say definitely too many years. Anyway, one of the items we have collected is our music library. We have hundreds of old, old records, 8-track tapes, cassettes and etc. Our CD collection was limited just to those CD’s we had purchased to enjoy but that has now changed.
Since we also own the LakeCumberland.Com website and the Trading Post on it we noticed an advertisement that someone wanted to give-away 400 CD’s.
Now they were talking my language and even though we had reservations that the CDs were all broken or scratched up, so we called.
Surprised, the CDs were their private collection and they were giving them away because they moved here to a smaller house and did not have room. Patty and George Beil said they now have all the CDs transferred electronically so they did not need them now.
Needless to say our CD collection took a major leap this week. Like a kid at Christmas we have played and played CDs and have had a great time. We shared these with our staff at The Times Jounal and they have also had a holiday experience from the boxes and boxes of CDs. Wade Daffron almost had heart failure at some of the artists in the collection, and says he has to meet these people as he never thought there was another in the world with similar taste in music.
So if you have a chance to meet Patty and George, now living in our community, give them a welcome but don’t ask about CDs we have them all.
They also have their own artistic side and maybe real soon we will have a feature for all of you to enjoy.
Some computer bumper stickers
1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
2. <-------- The information went data way
3. The name is Baud...James Baud.
4. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
5. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
6. C:V> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
7. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
8. Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
9. E Pluribus Modem
10. .... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
11. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
12. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
13. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
14. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
15. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . .
16. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
17. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
18. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
19. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
20. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
21. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
22. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
23. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
24. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
25. REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
26. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
27. Hit any user to continue.
28. Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
29. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
30. (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
Helpful Tips To Make Life Simpler
Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.
Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.
Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).
If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark
"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you."
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What was I thinking?"
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."
"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
"Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never knew what evil was before this!"
"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
"We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits."
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!"
Three self-described bisexual men filed a federal lawsuit in April against the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance for disqualifying them from the Gay Softball World Series in Seattle in 2008 because they were not sufficiently gay. Teams were limited to two heterosexuals, and when the men's team won second place, questions were raised about the three until organizers took them aside and asked "intrusive" questions about their sexual attractions and desires. Ultimately, they were disqualified as being too straight. (The alliance acknowledged that it has no standards for judging gayness level, but explained, as a private organization, that it is not subject to federal law.