The Times Journal & Russell County News
Sunday, Apr. 20, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In Oct. 21 Issue

Our great mystery has been solved. We have discovered who has been leaving records, 8-track players and etc. at our office. They were gifts from Joe and Sue Foley and we are so appreciative. We collect all types of music, old records, record players and etc and we appreciate their addition so much. Now that we found out, do you think these will stop or should we pretend we still do not know. We may have messed up.

During the time we were trying to figure this out, one of our readers, Ann Peterson read this column and called to ask if we would be interested in some records she had left from her collection. Ann told us she did not have a record player anymore and would like to give them to someone who would appreciate them and enjoy them. We  are very pleased to have these and thank her so much for thinking of us.

It is a small world sometimes, we found out Ann’s daughter and her family own the Mini Indy here and their son Zach and Chanson are buddies. Both are now at UK. We use to enjoy the race cars there but now Chanson is to big to get in one of the cars and we are too old to get out of one of them.  A great place to race, play games, golf and birthday party.   Thanks again, Ann.

***

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

***

Daily News Headlines Worth a Second Look


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Include Your Children when Baking Cookie

Obama Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Kids Make Nutritious Snack

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

***


Some of the top recent news stories

Sherin Brown, 23, happened to be walking through a Brooklyn, N.Y., neighborhood in August at the exact moment that a tractor-trailer accidentally clipped a light pole, sending it crashing to the sidewalk. First responders found Brown pinned under the pole, screaming for help, and had her taken to a hospital. Afterward, investigators discovered a nearby surveillance camera, which revealed that Brown had stepped out of the way of the falling pole but then, with no one else around, had crawled underneath and began wailing in "pain," perhaps in anticipation of a future lawsuit. [New York Daily News, 8-30-10]

Steven Black, one of five suspects in a federal credit card and check-cashing fraud ring, was arrested on Aug. 30 in Maryland Heights, Mo., following a car chase. In a search, police discovered that Black was carrying $1,540 in cash, in a roll tied with a shoelace to his privates..

Mean Streets: A 23-year-old man on Chicago's South Side is still alive after he reported being shot twice on Sept. 17 by different people in different neighborhoods. He was shot above the armpit just after midnight, was treated and released at a hospital, and then was shot again in the leg about 10 hours later.

Notorious killer Jon Venables, convicted in 1993 at age 11 of the torture-murder of a 2-year-old Merseyside boy, was held until age 18 and then released on conditions and with a new identity to protect him from harassment. In July 2010, after violating the conditions, Venables was sentenced to two years in jail for possessing and exchanging "violent" child pornography. According to a Daily Telegraph report, the Ministry of Justice has accepted that it will have to supply Venables yet another new identity upon his eventual release (with set-up likely to cost the equivalent of almost $400,000 and security to run the equivalent of an additional $1.6 million a year).

Mark Smith, 59, was arrested at a bank in Watsonville, Calif., in September after he had allegedly threatened a teller with a bomb (spelled "bom") and demanded $2,000. The teller, apparently skeptical of Smith's toughness, tried to convince him, instead, to borrow the money, and she had him wait while she retrieved an application (during which time she called 911). By the time police arrived, Smith was filling out the loan form.

***

Things to Never Say to a Woman During an Argument

* Whoa, time out. Football is on.

* Sorry. I was just picturing you naked.

* Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?

* Don't you have some laundry to do or something?

 * You are so cute when you get mad.

 * You're just upset because your bottom is beginning to spread.

 * Wait a minute - I get it. What time of the month is it?

* You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?

* Looks like someone had an extra bowl of mean flakes this morning!

* Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.

***

One Liners Sum It Up...

* Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

* Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

* Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

* You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

* I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number.

* Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

* When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why

* There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

* Married life is full of excitement and frustration:

* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

* It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

* Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere, son.


    * A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.


    * Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.


    * Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.


    * Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.


    * Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":

      ** The Engagement Ring

      ** The Wedding Ring

      ** The Suffe-Ring

      ** The Endu-Ring

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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
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404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
(editor@tjrcn.com)
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
(sports@tjrcn.com)
Advertising Manager:
Stephanie Smith
(ads@tjrcn.com)
Business Manager:
Kim Haydon
(business@tjrcn.com)
Production Manager:
Renee Daffron
(people@tjrcn.com)
Jamestown Office:
Kim Graham
(rcnoffice@tjrcn.com)
PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
TOURISM COMMISSION: 2nd Wednesday of month, 12:30 p.m. at Tourism Office
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
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