In Oct. 28 Issue
The election is only a few days away now and the candidate activity is getting very obvious. Next Tuesday will tell the story and the following days will give the candidates a time to celebrate or a time to hide and heal. We can say that because we have been in both divisions, celebrating and healing. Celebrating is much more fun.
Speaking of elections, we were at the county clerk’s office this week and that is one office where everyone there is going full speed. Lisha was busy getting the election materials ready for all the precincts. We tried to vote a couple of times while we were there, but no success. Maybe we will wear a different hat and mustache tomorrow.
Here is a new poem we were sent this week. All of us are beginning to rely on our spell checkers on our computers and here we see the good old art of learning to spell is still a pretty good idea.
The Spell Chequer
Owed Two A Spell Chequer
Eye halve a spelling chequer,
it came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques, four my revue,
miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
and weight four it two say,
Weather eye am wrong oar write
it shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid,
it nose bee fore two long.
And eye can put the error rite
it's rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it,
I am shore your pleased two no.
Its letter perfect awl the weigh,
my chequer tolled me sew.
New Kind of Bait
A fisherman is returning home with several large fish in his creel. A guy comes along and asks, "You been fishing?"
"What bait you using?"
"How'd you use chewin' tobacco as bait?"
"I put the tobacco on the hook and drop the hook in the water. The fish nibble on the bait and when they come up to spit, I hit 'em on the head with my rod."
Our friend Tammy Hill sent us the follow and like Tammy stated, this one makes us proud to be called a redneck.
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up.
Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends.
Y'all know who ya are
You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God..'
You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'
You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.
You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem
You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
God Bless the USA !
Pat Mathews sent us some tidbits this week....
How to stay safe in the World today
1. Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.
2. Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents occur in the home.
3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.
4. Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water because 16% of all accidents involve these forms of transportation.
5. Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals. So, above all else, avoid hospitals.
But, you will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders. Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is at church!....And....Bible study is safe too. The percentage of deaths During Bible study is even less.
So, attend church, and read your Bible
IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!
Pat also reminded us of these...
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
~P. J. O'Rourke
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk.
"People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our own problems."
"Since we're all professionals," another suggests, "why don't we hear each other out right now?"
They agreed this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually overbill my patients as often as I can."
The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me."
The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret."