The Times Journal & Russell County News
Thursday, Jul. 24, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In Nov. 24 Issue

Turkey day,  I mean Thanksgiving Day is here and the extra holiday pounds are about to begin. Just kidding, these special times are about to begin when families get together and enjoy fellowship.

We hold the greatest memories of gathering at our grandparents home and having  huge family numbers gather for the big day. What a picture as we can still visualize the holiday table and the spread of food that carried on from the table and around all cabinets with these wonderful desserts. Uncle O. D. always was there with his hand cranked ice cream freezer.  As we would beg to help we can still hear him tell us....don’t crank too fast or too slow. If he wasn’t doing it, it was hard to get that just right cranking speed and that wonderful ice cream.

  Time sure has a way of changing things. The number gathered around the table continues to be smaller and smaller. But, we are so fortunate to have our family of today and the great memories from the past. Even if aunt Rose’s pumpkin pie has been replaced by Sara Lee, the nice lady at Kroger is now bringing the turkey breast and the ice cream comes in in a box, it is still a great family treat.

***

  We read the following this week and were reminded of the great admiration we have for teachers that work with our children. Real teachers.

   The times we spent in the classroom left us with a few favorites and appreciation for their extra effort they gave us. We were probably more impressed with some of the great teachers that worked with Chanson while he was in school here. So many went that extra mile and it was so appreciated.  We will finally get to the point and pass along this item sent to us by Tom and Pat Mathews.

Real Teachers

  Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk at Sam's.

Real teachers will eat anything left in the teacher's lounge.

Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of nine weeks have even been seen grading in church.

Real teachers know that sixth graders get hormones from Santa at Christmas.

Real teachers cheer when they hear that April 1st does not fall on a school day.

Real teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair.

Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning around.

Real teachers are written up in medical journals for the size and elasticity of their bladders.

Real teachers wear glasses from trying to read the fine print in the teacher's manuals.

Real teachers have been timed gulping down lunch in 2 minutes 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.

Real teachers can predict exactly which parents show up at open house.

Real teachers understand the importance of making sure every kid gets a Valentine.

Real teachers never teach the conjugations of "lie" and "lay" to eighth graders.

***

Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you're in Australia -- then start worrying)

Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.

Drive carefully It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work..

Two guys were sitting in a bar getting really drunk. After a while, just drinking gets boring, so the first guy says to the second guy, "Hey, you want to go for a ride in my airplane?"

The second guy says, "Wow, you have an airplane? Let's go!"

So they get some more beer and go for a tour around the city in the plane. Eventually they get bored with this too, so they decide to land. The drunken pilot starts circling around looking for a place to land, and he sees an airstrip close by. He says to his new buddy along for the ride, "Let's land here. It looks like it's as good a place as any."

So he circles around and goes in for a landing, but at the last minute he swerves and pulls back up. "Shit!" he says, "That is the SHORTEST runway I have ever seen! How is anyone supposed to land on it?" But since it's the only runway nearby, he decides to try again, with the same result.

Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to his friend, "All right, I'm going to try ONE more time, and if I can't land it we're just going to crash and hope we don't die." So they end up crashing, and miraculously neither is hurt.

When they crawl out of the wreckage, the first guy is swears and gesticulates wildly at the runway. "I'm gonna find whoever designed this crazy runway and wring his neck! He must be total moron! No one could land on anything that short!"

The second guy looks around and says "Yeah, but look how wide it is!"

***

 Signs of getting old


1.     You and your teeth sleep separately.

2.     You try to remove the wrinkles from your socks when you realize that you are not wearing socks.

3.     When you wake up in the morning you look just like the picture on your driver's license.

4.     Only on the second try you are able to get out of bed.

5.     For you "staying out all night" means that you slept in the garden.

6.     Your "happy hours" are filled with naps.

7.     You go on vacation and you get tired before you run out of money.

8.     You tell the children things that your mother told you that you didn't like.

9.     Your idea of "weight lifting" is getting up from the toilet.

10.  It takes you a lot longer to rest up than what it took to get tired.

11.  Your memories are shorter and your complaints are longer.

12.  Most of the entries in your address book start with a "Dr."

13.  You set in the rocking chair, but you can't get it to rock.

14.  Your latest friend is the pharmacist.

15.  You consider yourself lucky if you can find your car in the parking lot.

16.  It takes you twice as long to see half as much.

17.  Everything hurts. What doesn't hurt, it doesn't work.

18.  You spent two hours looking for your eye glasses before you realized that you are wearing them.

19. You sink your teeth into the meat on your plate and they stay there.

20. You gave up all your bad habits, but nothing got any better.

21. You have acquired more patience, but it's a false sensation.

22.  When you have finally gotten all your thoughts together, at the same time the rest of your body fell apart.

See you later.

Enjoy your turkey day.

 

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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
120 Wilson St.
Russell Springs KY 42642
Phone: 270-866-3191
Fax: 270-866-3198
Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
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404 Monument Square
Jamestown KY 42629
Phone: 270-343-5700
Publisher:
David Davenport
(publisher@tjrcn.com)
Managing Editor:
Greg Wells
(editor@tjrcn.com)
News & Sports Editor:
Derek Aaron
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PUBLIC MEETINGS
Members of the public may attend meetings. Boards or agencies may schedule other meetings at special times, but are required to notify the public.
FISCAL COURT: 2nd Monday of month, 6 p.m. in the Courthouse
RUSSELL SPRINGS CITY: 2nd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in the City Hall Municipal Room
JAMESTOWN CITY: 3rd Thursday of month, 6 p.m. in basement meeting room at City Hall
SCHOOL BOARD: 3rd Monday of month, 6:30 p.m., Board of Education office in Jamestown
LIBRARY BOARD: 2nd Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Jamestown Library
AIRPORT BOARD: 1st Tuesday of month, 5 p.m. at Airport
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CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: 3rd Tuesday of month, noon at The Cove restaurant
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