Dang, this global warming is going to be the death of us all.

Just wonder how much of this warming we can stand. We had about four inches of warming at our house the past few days and now they tell us we are having a few more inches of warming today.

Rabon and Sue Smith have been friends of Ole I.C. for many years and we hold their friendship with a lot of respect. Back a few years ago, Rabon and their son Terry on several occasions saved The Times Journal as they would come to our rescue.

Sue sent us the following item this week as she found this among some clippings of  Rabon’s Mom.

My Dear Friend

Just a line to say I’m living

That I’m not among the dead

Though I’m getting more forgetful

and more mixed p in the head

For sometime I can’t remember

When i stand at th foot of the stairs,

If I must go up for something

or If I’ve just come down from there

And before the “fridge” so often

My poor mind is filled with doubt...

Have I just put food away, or

have I come to take some out.

And there are times when it’s dark out,

Withmy nightcap on my head,

I don’t know if I’m retiring

Or just getting out of bed.

So, if it’s myturn to write you,

There’s not need in getting sore;

I maythink that I have written

And don;t want to be a bore.

So remember, I do love you,

And I wish that you were here,

But it’s nearly mail time

So, I must say, Goodbye, Dear.

*****

Here I stand beside my mailbox

And boy, is my face red,

instead of mailing you my letter,

I have opened it instead.

****

A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he could hardly wait to tell his parents.

As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, "I learned all about the very first Christmas in Sunday school today! There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys!

"And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!"

***

How They Forecast a Cold Winter

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2009/10 was going to be cold or mild.  The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes.

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter.  However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Gaylord Michigan.

“Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,” the meteorological officer told the chief.  Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.

'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied: “Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.”

***

Be careful with you innovative ways of keeping warm.

1) This is a true story about John Porter, from New York State, USA, whose pipes in his home froze one winter.  Anxious to unfreeze them, Mr Porter backed his car up to an open window so that the exhaust would warm up the house.heat

A little while later and Porter, his wife and their three children had to be rushed to hospital suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning.

2) George Gibbs, from Columbus, Ohio, suffered second-degree burns on his head.  This is what happened one freezing cold winter morning.  Unable to start his car, George diagnosed the problem as a frozen fuel line which he thought he could correct by running warm gas through it.  He then tried to heat a two-gallon can of gas on his gas stove in the kitchen.  Ah.....

***

Sarah new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, “Richard doesn't appreciate what I do for him.”Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.”

“No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price.”

“Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate,” says her mum. “Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.”

“No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey.  It was the aeroplane ticket.”  "Aeroplane ticket...." What did you need an airplane ticket for?”

“Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said: "Prepare from a frozen state," so I flew to Alaska.”

***

Grandpa decided that shopping for Christmas presents had become too difficult.  All his grandchildren had everything they needed, so he decided to send them each a check.

On each card he wrote:

       'Happy Christmas Grandpa'

P.S. 'Buy your own present!'

Conclusion:

Now, while Grandpa enjoyed the family festivities, he thought that his grandchildren were just slightly distant.  It preyed on his mind into the New Year.  Then one day he was sorting out his study and under a pile of magazines, he found a little pile of checks for his grandchildren.  He had completely forgotten to put them in with the Christmas cards.

The tip of the week....

New use for Windex

I haven't checked to see if this actually Works or Not .. . . But they say,

If you ever get the sudden URGE to run around naked,

You should sniff some Windex first.

It'll keep you from streaking.

Have a great Christmas and in case you did not see this column a few weeks ago....shirt size is XL, pants, 38 and our favorite color is blue.

Christmas you know.