In Dec. 30 Issue
Looks like we got three more inches of global warming. Global warming appears to be spreading around the world. One good thing about all of this is that it will open up many new businesses. We will need global warming plows, shovels, mittens and etc.
Get ready for the New Year and we thought some of our past resolutions might be of interest and might help you come up with a new one.
Our main one is a brand new one for us, we are going to exercise and lose some weight. Start exercising and give up chocolate. We know you would not expect those and here are a few more for your consideration.
We will think of a password other than "password".
We will grow more hair on our forehead.
We will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider ours - if that unwashed fellow sits next to us again, We'll tell him he stinks!
We will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
We promise to find the wood top on our desk.
We will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....
We will try to figure out why we really need nine e-mail addresses.
We will always listen to our phone message and never let our box get full...
We just learned LOL in texting doesn’t means Lots of Love and will stop telling them we love them also.
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
Pay more attention between toothpaste and hemorrhoid cream.
Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
We will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom or entering.
We will always wear clean underwear, "just in case".
Read less books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head.
Cut down on exercise. Too much is bad for your health, it can even kill you.
Stop switching the TV remotes at the homes of all our friends.
Draw up a list of people who were nasty to you in the past year and send them a letter marked from the IRS requesting them to call for an audit.
Be more careful and spend less money on buying useless stuff like this new DVD Rewinder we had ordered for christmas.
We resolve to stop putting laxatives in the aspirin bottle at work.
If you have any resolutions you would like to share, send them to us.
New Year Quotes
New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. Mark Twain
Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. Brooks Atkinson
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution. Jay Leno
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Bill Vaughan
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. Oscar Wilde
I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser. Robert Paul
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other. Anonymous
New Year Wishes
We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called "Opportunity" and its first chapter is New Year's Day. - Edith Lovejoy Pierce
Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.
Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others. - Anonymous
In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want. -Irish Toast
May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.
May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist and your plumber.
May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.
May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.
May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance - and include generous amounts for charity.
May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.
Dieting - New Year Resolutions
2007: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2008: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2009: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2010: I will work out 3 days a week.
2011: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
New Year's Day Prayer for One and All
Dear Lord So far this year I've done well.I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that.
But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help. Amen
Happy New Year to everyone and may you have the very best life has to offer in the New Year. We appreciate each and everyone of you.