We have a new addition to the newspaper staff and it is so pleasant to have her back. Seems like turning back the page a year or

so. Claradon Wilson started helping us with the typesetting and composition duties and it is very nice to see her back with us.

We will not say how long ago it was that we started working together but it has been a few years ago and that is not the point we are

making. Claradon is the fastest typesetter we have ever seen and at the same time very, very accurate. Just seems natural that Claradon is

again at the composition seat of the newspaper. No, we can’t tell you when it was that Claradon started here but maybe we can get

Denver to slip and tell us. Probably about 10 or 12 years ago.

***

Religion Explained

Few things are more entertaining than Sunday School students telling about things they learned in Bible school. Here are a few examples.

-- St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

-- Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not

live by sweat alone."

-- It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

-- The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

-- A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.

-- The epistle were the wives of the apostles.

-- One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a taximan.

-- When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

-- St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

***

We recently read a column entitled.....”No Cure for Stupidity”. One of the items that caught our attention was from a TV show we

use to watch, Family Fued. Here are few real winners.

Name something a blind person might use: a sword

Name a song with moon in the title: blue suede moon

Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin

Name an occupation where you need a torch: a burglar

Name a famous brother and sister: Bonnie and Clyde

Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers: a horse

Name something that floats in the bath: water

Name something you wear on the beach: a deck chair

Name something red: my cardigan

Name a famous cowboy: Buck Rogers

Name a famous royal: mail

Name a number you have to memorize: 7

Name something you do before going to bed: sleep

Name something you put on walls: roofs

Name something in the garden that's green: a scarecrow

Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine: dishes

Name something you might be allergic to: skiing

Name a famous bridge: the bridge over troubled waters

Name something a cat does: goes to the toilet

Name a continent: Italy

Name something you do in the bathroom: decorate

Name an animal you might see at the zoo: a dog

Name something slippery: a con man

Name a kind of ache: a pancake

Name a food that can be brown or white: potato

Name a potato topping: jam

Name a famous Scotsman: Jock

Another famous Scotsman: Vinnie Jones

Name something with a hole in it: window

Name a non-living object with legs: plant

Name a domestic animal: leopard

Name a part of the body beginning with

'N': knee

Name a way of cooking fish: cod

Name something you clean: your sister

***

Pat Mathews sent us the following and it bought back so many memories. We can still see our Grandmother washing clothes on a

scrub board and hanging them over the back yard.

She also never spoke of “Washing” the clothes, it was like Pat reports, it was doing the “warshing”.

"Warshing Clothes Recipe" imagine having a recipe for this ! ! ! Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe to help her with her house chores.

This is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook -spelling errors and all.

WARSHING CLOTHES

Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert.

Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water.

Sort things, make 3 piles

1 pile white,

1 pile colored,

1 pile work britches and rags.

To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water. Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench and starch. Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.

Hang old rags on fence.

Spread tea towels on grass.

Pore wrench water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water.

Turn tubs upside down.

Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.

Paste this over your washer and dryer Next time when you think things are bleak, read it again, kiss that washing machine and dryer,

and give thanks.. First thing each morning you should run and hug your washer and dryer.

For you non-southerners - wrench means, rinse. Makes that washer and dryer look extremely nice doesn’t it.