The Times Journal & Russell County News
Tuesday, Jul. 22, 2014 — RUSSELL SPRINGS & JAMESTOWN, KENTUCKY — russellcounty.net
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From My Window ... by I.C. Toowell
In March 24 Issue

The following is one of those stories we cannot say whether or not it is full of truth. We cannot find whether Nasa is working on such a program or not, but read it and you will agree it is one of those stories that make you stop and think.

Did you know that the space program is busy proving that what has been called 'myth' in the Bible is true?

  Mr. Harold Hill, President of the Curtis Engine Company in Baltimore, Maryland, and a consultant in the space program, relates the following development.

'I think one of the most amazing things that God has done for us today happened recently to our astronauts and space scientists at Green Belt, Maryland ...

They were checking out where the positions of the sun, moon, and planets would be 100 years and 1,000 years from now. We have to know this so we won't send up a satellite and have it bump into something later on in its orbits.

We have to lay out the orbits in terms of the life of the satellite and where the planets will be so the whole thing will not bog down.

They ran the computer measurement back and forth over the centuries, and it came to a halt. The computer stopped and put up a red signal, which meant that there was something wrong with either the information fed into it or with the results as compared to the standards.

They called in the service department to check it out, and they said, 'What's wrong?' Well, they found there is a day missing in space in elapsed time.

They scratched their heads and tore their hair out. There was no answer.

 Finally a Christian man on the team said, 'You know, one time I was in Sunday School, and they talked about the sun standing still.' While they didn't believe him, they didn't have an answer either, so they said, 'Show us, '

He got a Bible and went to the book of Joshua where they found a pretty ridiculous statement for any one with 'common sense.'

There they found the Lord saying to Joshua,

 'Fear them not, I have delivered them into thy hand; there shall not a man of them stand before Thee.'

 Joshua was concerned because he was surrounded by the enemy! And if darkness fell, they would overpower them. So Joshua asked the Lord to make the sun stand still! That's right.... 'The sun stood still and the moon stayed and lasted not to go down about a whole day!'

 (Joshua 10:12-13)

 The astronauts and scientists said, there is the missing day! They checked the computers going back into the time it was written and found it was close but not close enough. The elapsed time that was missing back in Joshua's day was 23 hours and 20 minutes.. Not a whole day.

They read the Bible, and there it was about [approximately] a day. These little words in the Bible are important, but they were still in trouble because if you cannot account for 40 minutes, you'll still be in trouble 1000 years from now.

 Forty minutes had to be found because it can be multiplied many times over in orbits. As the Christian employee thought about it, he remembered somewhere in the Bible where it said the sun went BACKWARDS.

The scientists told him he was out of his mind, but they got out the Book and read these words in 2 Kings that told of the following story: Hezekiah, on his death bed, was visited by the prophet Isaiah who told him that he was not going to die. Hezekiah asked for a sign as proof. Isaiah said 'Do you want the sun to go ahead 10 degrees?'

 Hezekiah said, 'It is nothing for the sun to go ahead 10 degrees, but let the shadow return backward 10 degrees.' Isaiah spoke to the Lord, and the Lord brought the shadow ten degrees BACKWARD! Ten degrees is exactly 40 minutes!'

Twenty-three hours and 20 minutes in Joshua, plus 40 minutes in Second Kings make the missing day in the universe! Isn't it amazing?

References: Joshua 10:8, 12-13 and 2 Kings 20:9-11.

***

You Work in Corporate America If...

- You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

- Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.

- You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.

- When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

- Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.

- You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.

- It's dark when you drive to and from work.

- Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

- Communication is something your group is having problems with.

- You see a good looking person and know they're a visitor.

- Free food left over from meetings is your main staple of your diet.

***

Comrade Rudolph

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining", he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.

"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.

"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing".

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on.

But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" to which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear".

New Disease

A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. Thinking it would make the trip more bearable, he invited several coworkers to share the ride. However, the commute actually got more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the company doctor.

"Doc," the frustrated commuter complained, "I'm fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe all week. But now, when I get in the tunnels with those four other guys crowded into the car, I get anxious and dizzy, and I feel like I'm going to explode."

"What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?"

"No, no, no, my boy. You have something that is becoming more and more common."

"You have what is known as Carpool Tunnel Syndrome."

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The Times Journal is a weekly newspaper issued on Thursdays. It was first published on October 13, 1949, by Andrew J. and Terry Norfleet.
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P.O. Box 190
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Russell Springs KY 42642
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Russell County News is a weekly newspaper issued on Saturdays, and is mailed free to every address in Russell County, Ky. It was first published on February 1, 1913.
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