In April 28 Issue
One of the better fishing stories occurred in Russell County last week and we just have to pass it along.
Jerry D. Roy was telling us the tale and since the main character is this story are friends of his, he has withheld the names. ( It is actually because feared he feared the lady would smack his head).
Anyway, the story goes that this gentleman has a great relationship with his Mom who is also his fishing buddy.
He decides to get her a new rod and reel and take her fishing so away they go. We are told they were fishing for the big catfish and she baits her new rod and reel and lays it across a rock while they discuss the day.
All at the once, the rod jumps up, over the rock, down the bank and right into the water.
Big fish, new rod and reel and all....gone.
A few days alter they return for another fishing excursion. Only with an old rod and reel. Again, line baited, pole in place and just waiting for the big fellow to come back.
Again, all at once, the pole jumps up, but this time they catch it and the son jumps right in the edge of the water to help Mom hang onto this one.
Both leap with excitement and sure enough it was a huge catfish. He grabs for the fish and what does he see, wrapped on the back of the fish was his Mom’s new rod and reel they had previously lost. He grabs for the rod and reel, Mom holds on to the old rod and reel and the big cat, flops a couple of times and away he goes.
The story is not over yet.
We are told a few days later they decide to take another little fishing excursion. Back to same ole fishing hole. This time they are getting everything in place for another round with the big cat. Line baited, ready to cast out when all at once both feel fly out from beneath Mom and in the lake she goes.
Jerry says she is telling she fell in, but he said the truth was known she had just decided to take matters in her old control and just go after the big boy.
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining merge to become Mine All Mine.
Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
Fairchild Electronics, Honeywell Computers, and Rothschild will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
3M, J.C. Penney, and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney Opera.
Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants will merge and become Poupon Pants.
Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become Knott NOW!
Ya might be a Redneck if.....
...You wont stop at a rest area if you have a empty beer can in the car.
...You think Iraq is top-of-the-line Camaro.
...Your spring wardrabe mostly involves scissors.
...you know atleast 6 ways to bend a baseball cap.
...you own a lava lamp thats over 5 feet tall.
...there are more than 10 cats livin under your trailer.
...you've ever thrown up in a squad car.
...your first bra was a Wonderbra.
...you've ever had to appear in court due to your dogs.
...You think Thunderbird is an acceptable wine choice with a bean burrito.
...your grandma enters wet t-shirt contests.
...your local grocery store also has a few pool tables.
...your septic tank is the subject of a petition.
...you have ever tried to use food stamps to mail a watermelon.
...you had to hitchhike on your honeymoon.
...your car and its motor are more than ten feet apart.
...stealing road signs is a family outing.
...your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
...you sent out birth announcements for your new puppies.
...you've changed a diaper on a Denny's table.
...you've ever named a child for a good dog.
...your T.V. is on 24-7.
...your last keg party included a couple of 911 calls.
...you have to mow around a refridgerator and a bed frame.
...you've ever taken a date flowers you stole from a cemetery.
...Everyone in the house learns something from the potty training videotape.
...Diners change tables when your family sits near them.
...your prom dress was knitted.
...you were born with a plastic spoon in your mouth.
...your bridal veil was made of window screen.
...you think people who have electricty are uppity.
...your college graduation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18-wheeler.
...the Marlboro man is your idol.
Funny Bumper Stickers
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
All men are idiots....I married their king.